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A Royal Baby Is Coming – The Sycophancy’s Already Here!

December 4, 2012

A new British royal will soon be with us. Kate and Wills, or to use their official titles, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, are to be parents – Great news! Kate’s extreme morning sickness putting her in hospital has forced the royal hand to announce the pregnancy early. The good people of Blighty, however, are ecstatic. This is just the uplift the nation needs in these recessionary times.

royal baby coming

Get ready world, I’m coming!

There’s a down side to this of course and it makes me shake my head in despair. Within minutes of the announcements, the media went into a frenzy, pulling out previously underused royal correspondents and speculating about baby names. Many people are hoping for Diana if it’s a girl: a nod to Princes William and Harry’s mother. Personally, I think they should call it Queen Latifah, or Will.I.Am. Expect the tat to come spewing forth with obscene haste. As long time readers have come to expect from this blog, I will do my best to find the best tat (surely an oxymoron?) over the next few months. I may even open up a fantasy royal baby tat shop, as I did for the royal wedding.

Maybe Harry can once again call on the services of Snoop Dogg to compose a song for the newest royal as a gift. Though we shouldn’t call him that anymore. Like a faithful Mac user, he’s recently upgraded to Snoop Lion.

The baby may be coming, but the morning sickness called sycophancy is already here and will be with us for the next 6-8 months.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go and barf.

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10 comments

  1. Pie!! You’re back!!!!! I was just thinking about you today. Must have been telepathy and you responded with the update.

    I recently read about some clever parents who named their child “Twitter.” There’s a nice unisex name for you. Or how about “Facebook?”

    I can’t wait to see the tat.


    • It’s nice to be back, Jacki. Anyone who manages to stick with me in spite of my sporadic postings is a dedicated reader indeed. It’s much appreciated.

      Why would anyone name their child Twitter? Does this mean the child’s parents are twits? Let’s go the whole hog and call the poor thing Tumblr, Stumbleupon, Pinterest or LinkedIn.

      I’ll do my best to find that tat. I won’t let you down!


  2. It is so hard to write about this without sounding anti-baby.

    How about this – it is only day two of coverage here in the US. I’ve had enough already.


    • Two days! Two days is a long time in royal sycophancy, Oma. I was ready to eat my own feet in desperation after four hours.

      In one London evening paper tonight, there was a picture of prince William going into the hospital to see his ailing wife. It described the trainers he was wearing in great detail – and this was on the front page!


  3. Oh dear Pie, please know how thrilled I am to a) hear from you after so long and b) thank you for a much needed antidote to all the blurb on the baby! ie, this from the Telegraph regarding the BIG decisions W & K now need to make – which house to live in, which career to pursue. I was hoping for a quiet Christmas back in the UK . . . How selfish am I!?!


    • Thanks, Patti. It’s nice to be back.

      The prank call from an Aussie station pretending to be the Queen wanting to speak to Kate is just a small sample of the nonsense we’ll have to endure over the next few months. By the time it’s all over, I’ll feel as if I’ve gone through the pregnancy with her, such will be the fine combing of every irrelevant detail. Well, I suppose the columnists and royal watchers need to justify their salaries somehow.

      If you play it right, your Christmas could be nice and quiet. Get it off to a great start by keeping your TV and radio switched off.


  4. At least your symptoms don’t sound as acute as hers. (hyperemesis=extra urgent barfiness) It’s also a great genetic experiment. How many generations of intermarriage to better-looking spouses does it take to not look like a Hanover, err, WINDSOR?


    • My symptoms are not as acute as hers, granted, but I’ll be feeling queasy over the next few months regardless. Regarding the breeding out of the Hanover: it will take a while, but the Duchess is a good start.

      Things have taken a very sharp and ugly turn today with the death of one of the nurses who was duped by the presenters of an Aussie radio station earlier this week. It may have been suicide. I hope to write about it this weekend. I feel desperately sorry for her family.


  5. It’s insane, the poor woman cant even vomit without international frenzy. And it’s so early that miscarriage is still very possible, and the media will not even allow her to grieve if this sad event happens. I would have gone bonkers in her shoes.


    • I bet she’s going quietly bonkers already. The death of Jacintha Saldanha probably hasn’t helped her one bit. Insane is the correct word to use in this case. With the meeja feeding frenzy, it’s like the Levenson inquiry never happened. Welcome to my blog. You can come again and comment whenever you like.



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