Hollywood Just Can’t Leave It Alone! Hansel And Gretel Rebooted

I was idly watching TV when this film trailer for Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters came up in the ad break. It may be out in other countries already, but it’s coming to Blighty this week.

Looks like the old Grimm’s fairy tale has been given the Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter treatment. Hansel and Gretel have all grown up and gone hardcore. It stars British actress Gemma Arterton and Jeremy Renner as the titular heroes. Renner has been an action man in previous movies like The Hurt Locker and The Bourne Legacy. So why not an adult Hansel, going medieval on witches?

As Hollywood continues to plunder historical figures and fairy tale characters to create vampire slayer/witch hunter/zombie crusher mash-ups, who’ll be next on the list and how do you think they’ll be re-booted? Would Jack and the Beanstalk become Jack Beanstalk: Giant Killer? Or would Goldilocks and the Three Bears become Goldilocks: Grizzly’s Revenge?

A Beard? Hirsutes You, Sir!

John Lewis has caused a stir. Their advertising campaign for the spring/summer menswear features a model with… a big bushy beard. It’s been called Hobo Chic and urban woodsman amongst the fashionistas. I couldn’t give a monkey’s arse about the labels: he looks great. John Lewis has played a blinder here. You’d usually find this kind of model fronting the campaign for some hipster store in Shoreditch.

If You Haven’t Done The Harlem Shake, Where The Hell Have You Been?

The Internet is a dangerous place, ladies and gentlemen. I was innocently surfing through YouTube on my phone a couple of weekends ago, when I came across this:

Take that! Lolcats. Begone! Psy. There’s a new meme in town and it’s called the Harlem Shake. Using a 30 second clip of the track Harlem Shake by music producer Baauer, everyone from office workers to news anchors, babies to grannies, have been uploading videos, just like the firemen above. Here’s a father and son version. This is a man who’s up for anything. What a top dad.

I Went To The Presidential Inauguration And All I Got Was A Lousy Mime Artist!

Barack Hussein Obama was sworn in as President of the United States for a second term on Monday 21st January. This is a fact. What we’re less sure of is whether Beyonce sang the national anthem live… and this became the bigger news of the week! The First Lady’s wardrobe couldn’t beat it. The maturation of the Obama progeny couldn’t divert it. Long after the President stepped down from the podium, put on his Everlasts, got back into the ring and resumed his fight with the Republicans, there are still rumblings. What tomfoolery is this?

“Mime, schmime! I don’t know what all the fuss is about. Have these people never watched Top Of The Pops?”

Gerry Anderson R.I.P

Thunderbirds Are GO! Gerry Anderson has gone. He was 83.