Can You Smell The ‘Erb? Stupid London Drug Runner Walks Past Police Smelling Of Cannabis

Welcome to my first stupid criminal post of 2013. It’s a while since I’ve written about inept felons. There were plenty of candidates vying for my attention, including the robbers in Australia who tunnelled their way to a jewellery store, only to surface in a KFC, and the prisoner in Sri Lanka with a mobile phone hidden in his rectum, caught out by the ring tone. But this, ladies and gentlemen, is the best one so far, and it happened in my borough. I will admit I shed a tear with both pride and laughter as I read this story. It takes a special brand of stupidity to do the following.

A young man came up the escalator in Bethnal Green Station with a handy stash of cannabis, ketamine hydrochloride and ecstasy. As he passed two officers at the ticket hall, a waft of the ‘erb caught their attention and they asked him to step into a side room to be searched. He didn’t need to be told twice – he made a run for it, out of the station and into the museum gardens nearby where he dumped his goods. He walked back towards them and was promptly arrested. A police dog handler was called in, the plucky dog called Buster found the incriminating evidence and a subsequent trip to the drug runner’s Hackney home revealed more drugs, plus weighing scales and a ledger. He now has two and a half years in a Young Offender’s Institute to think about where he went wrong.

Buster has since retired after six years on the job. I wonder if he still has a septum.

Pie’s 300th Post – I Was At The Paralympics! (Part Two)

Technically, this is my 301st post, but as it’s a continuation of my Paralympics experience, it will remain at 300. If you want to have a fight about this, we can take it outside…

So, to recap: I had tried in vain for two weeks to get a ticket for these games, but on the Friday, by sheer good fortune, I was able to watch some wheelchair basketball. Then, at the 11th hour, just when I thought I’d had my fill, I managed to score a ticket for the Saturday, which included a morning session of athletics and the full run of the Olympic Park. Once I met up with Sil, Sassy Bird and True Brit, we headed to the stadium.

Pie’s 300th Post – I Was At The Paralympics! (Part One)

I have something to celebrate. In spite of my mad schedule, leading to haphazard postings and an inability to respond to my favourite bloggers as much as I’d like, I have made it to my 300th. I also made it to the Paralympics – double happiness! Here’s how.

Why I’m Going To The #Actionaidblogparty

Not the usual type of title you’d expect from one of my posts, dear reader. Indeed, it has not come from my (sometimes) fertile brain. Here’s why I’m using it.

Mel, one of my most regular readers and an occasional commentator who works for Actionaid, put me forward for this event – a blogparty! I know what a block party is, but a blogparty?

Here’s what it involves. There’ll be talks, short films, a brainstorming session and top tips on blogging and social media. All sounds good, doesn’t it? But I ummed and ahhed about getting involved, because: 1. I wasn’t sure how blogging for this, or any other charity, would work. 2. I don’t write for other people. I do this purely for my own amusement. 3. The tone of my blog is mostly irreverent and at times can be snarky. Surely, they want someone writing with the right mixture of gravitas and reverence? In the end, my curiosity overruled my doubts and I decided to give it a go. At the very least I’ll know more at the end of the session than I did before I started. And I’ll meet some nice people.

So I’ve signed up and I’m going. I have no idea how this will unfold. What I am sure of is that I’ll be filled with cake and biscuits. I’m willing to go with that!

I’ll let you know, in due course, how it went.

The London 2012 Olympics – Boris Johnson Caught Dad Dancing At The Closing Ceremony

We had our London 2012 Olympic closing ceremony on Sunday. I had high hopes for it after our opening ceremony just a few short weeks ago, but, with a few notable exceptions (a very dead Freddie Mercury from Queen stealing the show for one), it was a bitter disappointment, so I’m going to leave it there. But there was something in that show, lasting only a few seconds, which peaked my interest. Boris Johnson, our esteemed mayor of Londinium was caught dad dancing. And it was brutal. There’s a reason why the royals remain seated. He’s the blonde one with the red tie on the right.