Food Disappointment

February 11, 2010

I was at Ikea this week for no reason other than I fancied a walk around the room settings, fantasising about my dream home furnished by Ikea, Habitat and Dwell. I also had time on my hands as once again the workflow has ground to a shuddering halt, but hey, ho, it’s the life of the temp/freelancer so I may as well enjoy it.

All that wandering around the store made me hungry, so I went to the food area. Not the Restaurant where the food is fine, but the refuel spot near the exit where you get such culinary delights as ice cream in cones and hotdogs. I was heading towards the exit, as there seemed to be no fish or vegetarian options when I spied the vegetarian hotdog. It looked a little paler in the picture than the standard one, but I thought it was just the quality of the print. It was also more expensive at 70p compared to 50p for the other one, but I was hungry and it was not the time to try and be a fiscal master. There was no choice. I ordered the hotdog and experienced the first wave of disappointment. The hotdog was pale to the point of pink raw, though it was definitely cooked. It was also shorter then the meat one by a third. I shrugged off the letdown and proceeded to slap plenty of mustard on it. I then took a bite as I left the building. The second wave of disappointment hit me harder than the first as my taste buds flatlined due to the lack of taste. Even the mustard had no bite. It was truly piss poor. My hunger monster had to be calmed down and it wasn’t going to shut up until it had been fed so I finished it, but not before I took a picture of the offending article. Here it is.

I hope you enjoy looking at it as much as I enjoyed eating it!

horrible vegetarian hotdog



  1. I have to say you are somewhat brave to even sample it. With those aesthetics, it would have been a deal breaker.

    • Under any other circumstances it would’ve been my deal breaker, but the hunger was high and the blood sugar was low. It had to be done.

  2. Yikes, You are either very brave or decidedly insane my friend, personally, I’d have dealt with a blood sugar dive rather than eaten that err … “food”. Looks like a weapon of mass destruction, or at the very least a bio hazzard. There’s something suss too about it only costing 70 pence, mind you, that the “meat” one only cost 50p scared me even more. Quality ingredients? Seriously scary on so many levels.
    For how many days were you comatose after eating this?

    • I think I’m still in recovery…

  3. The napkin looks comparatively delicious.

  4. There was probably more nutritional value in the napkin too! (and fiber)LOL
    No serious after effects I hope?…apart from a guilt ridden case of “OMG I can’t believe I actually ate that!

    • Guilt is a wasted emotion, so I’ve heard. Therefore, as far as this food disaster is concerned, I will spend no more time on it.

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