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The Stupid Gene Is Alive And Thriving

March 28, 2010

I found these news stories in the Metro paper recently. I’ve decided to put them together because they all have one thing in common: the stupid gene is very much alive and well in the criminal world. Let me present to you the evidence.

The gunman who posed on Facebook
A young man posted a photo of himself on Facebook. There’s nothing wrong with this of course – unless the photo shows him pointing an automatic pistol towards the camera. On receipt of a tip off from a concerned Facebook user, the police were all over him like a rash. When they searched the home he shared with his parents in Handsworth, Birmingham, they found an imitation pistol illegally converted to fire live rounds. The man pleaded guilty to possessing a firearm. He now has plenty of time in jail, five years, to be exact, to think about that particularly stupid act.

The couple that boasted on TV about shoplifting
A couple boasted on the Dr Phil show about their shoplifting sprees and how they sold the goods on Ebay, making £67,000. They told Dr Phil they made £2,500 a week on their haul and even allowed themselves to be filmed ‘on the job,’ with their three children in tow. Before they were sent to jail, one of the couple told the judge he regretted going on TV. I bet he does. The desire to have your 15 minutes is very strong. Using these people for entertainment shows the stupid gene is also alive and well in TV land.

The drug dealer selling cocaine behind a police van
A man dealing in cocaine used the back of a white van as cover for his business. Unfortunately for him, that van was part of a police surveillance team who were watching him. He was arrested once they obtained video evidence of him dealing two wraps of heroin and one of crack cocaine. A jail sentence was the natural conclusion to this story.

If you would care to present your own stupid gene stories to the court, then please do so. They will get a fair hearing and sentence will be passed, if necessary.

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17 comments

  1. Its all in my genes, I could not help it


  2. My lawnmower was stupidly I know, left out in the garden overnight and surprisingly it disappeared. A few days later a young chap in a van was ‘selling some stuff because he was moving away from the area’ he reeled of some items he had in his van and when he said ‘lawnmower’ I though well I may as well have a quick look…

    Yes it was mine with my initials scratched just where I had put them.

    I made a quick phonecall and eventually got my lawnmower back. Other people got their stuff back too and the young chap – well he certainly did move away for 8 months if remember correctly…


    • Hang on. What is stupid about leaving a lawnmower out in your garden?!! Should it be taken in, along with your cat/dog/rabbit/snake (delete as appropriate) in case it disappears, never to return? I take it, those eight months the lad spent away were in a hotel, run by the government on behalf of her majesty, with full bed and board.


  3. I wonder, is stupidity measured by the 1)the ease of getting caught 2)the degree of craving publicity or 3)the number of people who think they’re smarter (or less stupid)?

    PS I enjoy reading your posts. It’s got a ‘local’ voice that I can appreciate (perhaps because I lived in London once?)


    • Hello, Thought Bubble. Thanks for having a look at my blog. I like your assessment of stupidity. Maybe I’ll expand on that in a future post, unless you want to.


  4. You don’t mean a guest post, do you? 🙂


    • Lol! I’m not looking for guest posts, or to be a guest poster right now, but who knows what the future holds?…


      • Feel full free to pick up that stupidity assessment thought thread 🙂

        And thanks so much for coming by and leaving all those yummy comments. You certainly do know what blogging is about!


  5. Would you consider a mall cop who erm… ‘helped’ a kid shoplift from the shop to be stupid?

    Long story… To cut it down to the bare essentials, I will just say I actually guided said shoplifter through the mall to find his mummy while the stolen apparel was in plain sight. And when he dropped the stolen backpack, I helped him carry it. When his mummy was found, I sent them off at the entrance and waved goodbyes to mummy, son and stolen backpack.

    That was one of my more pathetic moments…


    • I would’ve put it under the stupid gene and passed sentence, but I’m going to dismiss the case. After all, did you really know the backpack had been stolen? What clues were there? And could you not put it down to a momentary lapse of concentration? By the way, you seem to have a lot of child shoplifters if your post about Olivia Twist and Fagin is anything to go by.


      • I have 2 more stories about child shoplifters in my manuscript. That doesn’t mean I am purposely sending the message that children shoplift more. I know of far more cases of pre-teen shoplifters and teenage shoplifters, but I write about the small children who shoplift for a good reason.

        I don’t want to spoil the surprise for my book by revealing my reason here and now, but when the book comes out, you can read it and find out why I chose to focus on small children who shoplift.

        If my colleague was the one writing the book however, you would get the impression that ALL celebrities shoplift. 😀


  6. How about the man in east London last week who diverted the water supply to fill the Olympic swimming pool?


    • Is that why I didn’t have water last Friday, then? I’m aware that it’s April the 1st today, so you could be having a giggle. Well played, To55er. If on the other hand it’s true, then that really is stupid.


  7. It was either that or fill the pool with bottled water.


    • Aha! So that’s the real reason for the lack of bottled water at Lidl that day – how could I have got that one so badly wrong?…



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