Posh… Moi?June 7, 2010
As part of a survey by an online market research company called Opinium Research, thirteen questions were asked to rate poshness. Why? Because a client had money to burn. Probably. Apparently, if you answer yes to three or more of these questions, you’re posh.
This nonsense applies to Britain because we’re all obsessed with class, don’t you know. So here are the thirteen and these are my answers:
1. Do you go to the opera or ballet?
I have been to both – once – and I enjoyed them. But if there were a choice between a night at the opera, or a pub, the pub would win every time.
2. Do you have a cleaner?
Does a Hoover count?
3. Do you wear clothing brands such as Hackett or Barbour?
The chances of this urban Pie walking the dog in the countryside, wearing a Hackett polo shirt and a Barbour jacket, are slim to nil. So I would say no.
4. Do you have an interest in horses/sailing?
I have no interest in sailing whatsoever. Horses on the other hand are great, though I find them a little disconcerting when they look me in the eye.
5. Do you spend over £10 on a bottle of wine?
No, but I wouldn’t say no to someone spending that much on me.
6. Do you still tell people what school you went to, even though you are in your 30s?
How insecure do you have to be to volunteer that information? Surely, YOU as a PERSON are good enough.
7. Do you shop at Waitrose?
Yes. But I also shop at Tesco’s, Sainsbury’s, Lidl and Aldi. Does that make me a supermarket slag?
8. Do you say ‘supper’ instead of ‘dinner?’
Dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner – BATMAN!
9. Do you greet people with a kiss on both cheeks?
Yes, I do, thank you. As do most of my friends.
10. Do you have an Aga?
If you’d seen the size of Pie Palace you wouldn’t have asked such a stupid question.
11. Do you drink Earl Grey/specialist teas?
Don’t drink tea. Don’t drink coffee. Do drink hot water, cold water, or alcohol. In no particular order.
12. Do you know what Prosecco is?
Yes, thanks and it doesn’t taste too bad, though I prefer Piper Heidsieck.
13. Do you eat hummus?
The only people who don’t eat hummus these days are those who don’t like it. I like it. I eat it.
And there you have it. Now you must excuse me. Jemima is at her pony club and Tarquin has gone sailing with his friends. Supper is bubbling away on the Aga and I must make an online order for Prosecco from Waitrose.