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Posh… Moi?

June 7, 2010

As part of a survey by an online market research company called Opinium Research, thirteen questions were asked to rate poshness. Why? Because a client had money to burn. Probably. Apparently, if you answer yes to three or more of these questions, you’re posh.

An empty bottle of Veuve Clicquot champagne

This nonsense applies to Britain because we’re all obsessed with class, don’t you know. So here are the thirteen and these are my answers:

1. Do you go to the opera or ballet?
I have been to both – once – and I enjoyed them. But if there were a choice between a night at the opera, or a pub, the pub would win every time.

2. Do you have a cleaner?
Does a Hoover count?

3. Do you wear clothing brands such as Hackett or Barbour?
The chances of this urban Pie walking the dog in the countryside, wearing a Hackett polo shirt and a Barbour jacket, are slim to nil. So I would say no.

4. Do you have an interest in horses/sailing?
I have no interest in sailing whatsoever. Horses on the other hand are great, though I find them a little disconcerting when they look me in the eye.

5. Do you spend over £10 on a bottle of wine?
No, but I wouldn’t say no to someone spending that much on me.

6. Do you still tell people what school you went to, even though you are in your 30s?
How insecure do you have to be to volunteer that information? Surely, YOU as a PERSON are good enough.

7. Do you shop at Waitrose?
Yes. But I also shop at Tesco’s, Sainsbury’s, Lidl and Aldi. Does that make me a supermarket slag?

8. Do you say ‘supper’ instead of ‘dinner?’
Dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner – BATMAN!

9. Do you greet people with a kiss on both cheeks?
Yes, I do, thank you. As do most of my friends.

10. Do you have an Aga?
If you’d seen the size of Pie Palace you wouldn’t have asked such a stupid question.

11. Do you drink Earl Grey/specialist teas?
Don’t drink tea. Don’t drink coffee. Do drink hot water, cold water, or alcohol. In no particular order.

12. Do you know what Prosecco is?
Yes, thanks and it doesn’t taste too bad, though I prefer Piper Heidsieck.

13. Do you eat hummus?
The only people who don’t eat hummus these days are those who don’t like it. I like it. I eat it.

And there you have it. Now you must excuse me. Jemima is at her pony club and Tarquin has gone sailing with his friends. Supper is bubbling away on the Aga and I must make an online order for Prosecco from Waitrose.

Toodle pip!

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13 comments

  1. Yes to 1, 5, 7, 11, 12 and 13. Clearly, I is well posh, innit?


    • You is. Now off to the opera with you.


  2. Yikes, apparently I’m Posh as well… 1=opera/ballet, um… theatre and classical interest type things aren’t meant to be for the general public then?,
    2=cleaner, yep have to confess to having two actually, Self employed Himself “does” at home when he doesn’t have work in, and a friend who needs some extra cash helps out when we need backup since I work full time, commute, have severe asthma.
    5= wine,…”sometimes” but usually it’s the Christmas gift for clients and sadly is rarely in the budget for our consumption.
    9= kisses,…again another confession, I’m Dutch we do not two but THREE kisses here, all the time, to everyone, ergo all Dutch are must be Posh.
    10= Aga, I’m a foodie, ’nuff said,
    13= hummus,… hummus has been around since before the marketing team were born… also see answer to Qu 10…’nuff said.
    Apparently all this makes me Posh.
    Now there’s a scary thought!.
    You Pie… nope, I didn’t have you down as Posh at all… Becks maybe… but not Posh.


  3. just tested this with video producer at work… we’ve been arguing about who’s posher for ages. he got 7 points and I got 5… disturbing. Hummous was the killer…


    • Aha! Is hummus the one question that makes you posh (or not)?


  4. Oooh! Let me answer those questions too!

    1. Do you go to the opera or ballet?
    Never been to any of those. Too expensive for my taste. I am saving my money for the latest Twilight movie.

    2. Do you have a cleaner?
    My mom smuggled a a mini vacuum cleaner into my room but I never used it.

    3. Do you wear clothing brands such as Hackett or Barbour?
    No. I wear generic jeans and t-shirts when I am off-duty. Some of them have the Amnesty International logo. Does that count as a brand?

    4. Do you have an interest in horses/sailing?
    Can’t row and can’t ride. I am a city lad. I wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between a pony and a mule.

    5. Do you spend over £10 on a bottle of wine?
    No. I don’t drink much wine anyway. Just beer.

    6. Do you still tell people what school you went to, even though you are in your 30s?
    No.

    7. Do you shop at Waitrose?
    I don’t live in England anymore. But when I did, it was Tesco most of the time.

    8. Do you say ‘supper’ instead of ‘dinner?’
    I say ‘food’?

    9. Do you greet people with a kiss on both cheeks?
    No. I am a mall cop. We could get fired for doing things like that. And even if I were off-duty, my friends might think I am gay or something.

    10. Do you have an Aga?
    What’s an Aga?

    11. Do you drink Earl Grey/specialist teas?
    I do actually. I don’t do Earl Grey. It is usually Japanese Green Tea for me.

    12. Do you know what Prosecco is?
    No. What’s that?

    13. Do you eat hummus?
    What’s a hummus?

    So how posh am I?


    • You’re not posh at all, Mallcop. You should be proud!

      I’ll respond to a few of your answers if you don’t mind. Q3: Amnesty International wouldn’t count as a commercial clothing brand, but it’s fine with me. Q8: “I say food.” Good answer. Q9. Kissing on both cheeks is not gay, but it is European. Come back to London and feel the freedom. Q10: An Aga is a large cooker/oven that is often found in rural homes. You can google for pics so you can see what they’re like. Q11: I have to retract my statement about not drinking tea. Very occasionally I drink peppermint and I have tried Japanese green tea, which I enjoyed, but wouldn’t make a habit of. Q13: Hummus is a Middle Eastern dip made of chick peas, olive oil, tahini, lemon, garlic and salt. It’s very nice and goes well with warm bread.


  5. People, especially my friends, often say I’m posh, but they have NO BASIS FOR THIS! Okay, I (my family anyway) has an Aga– we’re foodies, it’s the law, we (used to) have a cleaner. She quit. I shop at Waitrose (but it’s awesome– I go there very late, just before it closes and buy obscure things like edamame-bean sushi for around 10p), I adore opera and ballet (and I use words like ‘adore’ in everyday conversation)and I LOVE Earl Grey and hummus (what? I’m a vegetarian, I LIVE on tea and chickpeas). I even go to a relatively posh school (does a grammar school count?)But I’m NOT POSH! Honest.


    • Sorry, mate. According to this you are posh! Stop resisting, breathe deeply and claim your place in this world. I noticed that you’re the second foodie to comment on this post that owns an Aga. Foodie and Aga must go together like peaches and cream. Oh, by the way, welcome to my blog.


      • Urk. The ghost of comments past says that I used TOO MUCH CAPSLOCK in June.
        Foodies and Agas equals peaches and cream? No, no.
        Foodies and Agas go together like peaches, amaretti bianchi, nutmeg and creme fraiche; baked, glazed and served with a flourish. Duh.


  6. I’m sure I used to watch Hackett and Barbour in the seventies.


    • Or was it Dempsey and Makepiece? Perhaps it was Sapphire and Steel.



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