Do You Have A Mullet Sir? You May Want To Cancel That Trip To IranJuly 7, 2010
Can a hairstyle bring a country into disrepute? Iran’s Culture Ministry seem to think so. They have produced a catalogue of hairstyles that meet the approval of the government. This is in order to rid the country of ‘decadent Western cuts’. Banned styles include ponytails, mullets and elaborate spikes. Whatever that means. Approved styles include quiffs and floppy fringes (like Hugh Grant, I assume). I’d love to see this catalogue. I’ll go one better and offer to design the next one for free. I think it would be fun. But the Iranian culture ministry really do need to get out more, because they’re not the only ones to show concern about certain hairstyles. If I were heading our Culture Ministry I’d get rid of the ponytail. Any white, middle-aged man who wears one, resembling a member of Status Quo, or a black turtle-necked designer of the 90s needs to have a good long hard look at himself.
As for the mullet, anyone caught wearing that piece of tonsorial shame will be sent back to the 80s, never to return. The time machine would then be destroyed to make sure of it.