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Do You Have A Mullet Sir? You May Want To Cancel That Trip To Iran

July 7, 2010

Can a hairstyle bring a country into disrepute? Iran’s Culture Ministry seem to think so. They have produced a catalogue of hairstyles that meet the approval of the government. This is in order to rid the country of ‘decadent Western cuts’. Banned styles include ponytails, mullets and elaborate spikes. Whatever that means. Approved styles include quiffs and floppy fringes (like Hugh Grant, I assume). I’d love to see this catalogue. I’ll go one better and offer to design the next one for free. I think it would be fun. But the Iranian culture ministry really do need to get out more, because they’re not the only ones to show concern about certain hairstyles. If I were heading our Culture Ministry I’d get rid of the ponytail. Any white, middle-aged man who wears one, resembling a member of Status Quo, or a black turtle-necked designer of the 90s needs to have a good long hard look at himself.

As for the mullet, anyone caught wearing that piece of tonsorial shame will be sent back to the 80s, never to return. The time machine would then be destroyed to make sure of it.

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6 comments

  1. I’ve never agreed with a cultural decree the Iranians put out before this one. This is a disturbing development for me.


  2. I wear a crew cut because mall cops look so much more intimidating that way. And I think it will never go out of fashion.


    • Is a good answer. I think you’ll do well in Iran.


  3. Oh……the dreaded mullet.

    I saw a calendar once with a different mullet for each month of the year!

    If you can’t get your fill of them, google “worst album covers.” Not only will you see some truly disturbing mullets, the album covers themselves are priceless.

    The ponytails Iran is probably referring to are those of men who are bald on top.


    • I would love to have seen that calender. Sounds like a laugh. I will google worst album covers for kicks this weekend. The bald on top ponytail is an affront to humanity and fashion sense.



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