I Love Shopping At Waitrose – What Could Possibly Spoil It?January 22, 2011
Regular readers will know that I love Waitrose, the supermarket arm of John Lewis. I don’t yet earn the kind of money to shop there more than once a month, as it’s one of the more expensive supermarkets like M&S, but I’m working on it. Waitrose is a fragrant store. The layout and typography is beautiful, the food looks inviting, the staff are unfailingly polite and helpful, and the customers seem to glide along the aisles as light as feathers. The customers of budget stores, on the other hand, seem to be weighed down by their penury. Now I’m not having a go at budget stores. Lidl was one of my favourites, long before it became the budget store du jour amongst some newspaper columnists at the height of our recession a couple of years ago. But these are my observations and I’m sure if you took a moment to think about your contrasting stores, you’d agree.
Last night, I was at my local Waitrose in Canary Wharf, taking in the imaginary fragrance of jasmine and roses, gliding along the aisles with the equally fragrant shoppers. I had picked my items and was gliding towards the till when I passed another fragrant customer. The scent she left behind wasn’t jasmine and roses. I found myself gagging as rotten eggs shot up my nose like a rat in a drainpipe. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, she had farted, and I was left coughing hard on my way to the checkout to try and dislodge the skunk that had now taken root in my throat. In one moment of sphincter release, I had moved from glide to drag. I could not leave that store fast enough.
Say what you like about Lidl – nobody’s ever farted at me in one of their stores.