Sycophancy, Frocky Horrors, A Runaway Horse And A Cartwheeling Verger. That Was The Royal Wedding, That Was

May 1, 2011

So that’s it. They’ve gone and done it. Over and out. Well not quite, because we now have the newspaper special supplements, speculation about the honeymoon and very soon, I have no doubt, bets will be taken on when the Duchess of Cambridge (for this is what we should now call her) will have a bun in her oven.

Royal wedding William and Kate kiss at the balcony

Darling, do you think anyone's watching?

What did I do on that auspicious day? Well, I watched the main ceremony – avoiding the fluff and coma-inducing commentary either side of that wedding sandwich, then went skating in the afternoon.

Later that evening, I had a trawl through t’internet to see how the wedding was reported. The Mail online didn’t let me down. They love bitching about how women look and they certainly didn’t change their tune here. It pains me to say it, as I can’t stand The Mail, but this time they were right. It’s cruel to hang someone out to dry, sartorially speaking, on such on important event as a wedding. The advisers/family/friends of Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie should’ve been sent to the tower.

Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie in their outfits at the royal wedding

Then there was the story of the runaway horse. Apparently it was spooked by the cheering crowds and threw its rider, then it galloped the full length of Whitehall before it was eventually caught. It’ll probably be glue by the end of this weekend.

royal wedding runaway horse

From the Daily Telegraph. ©Getty Images

Finally, there was the Verger who did a couple of cartwheels down the aisle of Westminster Abbey after all the guests had gone. It’s on YouTube. He was the best thing about the wedding. We have found another great British eccentric. Well done!



  1. What can I say, once again confirmation that…style is definitely not a strong point with the Royals.

    However, I loved the cartwheels. Now we know what Vergers do when they are not performing for the public!!! He looks very cheerful, probably so relieved that it went well, Could that have been what was going on with the runaway horse too…mmh???

    It has to be said that the most important fact of the day is that Will and Kate really do look as if they are totally in LOVE and that is lovely…

    • Well, Princess Diana had style, and you could say the Queen has it, in her own age-appropriate way. But those poor girls. They’re probably lovely people, but someone, somewhere should’ve had a word.

      It was the stories of the cartwheeling verger and the runaway horse that struck me as the most exciting moments from this event and will probably stay with me for years to come.

  2. I liked the tunes, but then I admit I am an unabashed Anglophile with a thing for sacred choral music.

    I will deeply miss your “Tat Watch” series, but I look forward to whatever new strain of eccentricity you choose to shine a spotlight on.

    • I’m sure I’ll get withdrawal symptoms, now that the wedding is over… but look over there – the Olympics is coming! Plenty, plenty material there. Brace yourself…

  3. Those hats are the most hideous things I have ever seen.

  4. I’d be tempted to poke fun at those hats, but then I remember: in the U.S., we have a reality tv show host with a comb-over running for president.

    I do have a serious question though. The blue hat — is that a brain that’s been dyed purple beneath the feather?

    • Yes, that comb-over. I’ve always found it striking. You can have hair transplants now, so why he hasn’t used his considerable wealth to sort it out, is a mystery to me. There again, if he’s willing to challenge the president of the United States about his birthplace and education, I don’t expect there’s too much going on under that strange mass on his head.

      I’m so sorry this person is making moves to represent your country. On that basis, you have full dispensation to say whatever you like about those hats, which by the way are called fascinators in the fashion world. Apparently.

      In answer to your question: if that was a brain sticking out from under those feathers, it should’ve been shoved back inside her skull, then maybe some fashion sense would’ve kicked in. Welcome to my blog.

  5. I’m suffering royal wedding withdrawal. I sure hope they get pregnant right away so I have something to keep me going for at least nine months.

  6. Amazing that anyone would put that on their own head on purpose.

    • Emperor’s new clothes, Oma. That’s the only way I can explain it. Hopefully those girls will get the fashion help they so clearly need. Maybe a 12-step programme would do it.

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