Injunctivitis: Super-Injunctions That Irritate The Eyes Of JusticeMay 23, 2011
Britain is currently swimming in a sea of super-injunctions. Everywhere we look there’s an actor super-injunction here, a politician super-injunction there, a TV presenter super-injunction round the corner and a footballer super-injunction right in your face. These people have taken great trouble and spent a lot of money in an effort to prevent the great unwashed from knowing where they’d been dipping their wick.
Now, if I thought being fed stories about the indiscretions of celebrities and footballers was going to have a big impact on my life by paying my debts, improving my earning power, upscaling my housing or enhancing my own sexual prowess, I would pay more attention. But being absolutely certain it would do none of those things, I therefore couldn’t give a monkey’s arse about any of it. What I do care about is that these people think they can buy silence and prevent their sexual incontinence from causing the loss of reputation, earnings through sponsorship deals, or divorce proceedings. Worse, the other party, who usually doesn’t have the financial means to keep their name out of the papers, is hung out to dry. That is rank behaviour. For that reason alone, I am now interested and want these people exposed.
The super-injunctions are starting to look not so super. Last year, premiership footballer John Terry had his super-injunction thrown out of court and most of us know of the fallout there. Andrew Marr, a journalist who grills politicians about their lack of propriety, admitted to imposing a super-injunction a couple of years ago, due to an affair eight years previously resulting in a child, which later turned out not to be his. Former Royal Bank of Scotland boss Fred Goodwin (I’m not going to call him ‘Sir,’ because he broke that bank, which we, as mug taxpayer, had to rescue – and he still got a bonus) had his super-injunction partially lifted by request of an MP, by taking away his anonymity regarding an alleged affair with a senior colleague. Then there’s the premiership footballer. He was able to keep his name out of the papers due to his super-injunction, but the girl he had an affair with, Imogen Thomas, former contestant of the reality show Big Brother, had been exposed and left to the media wolves. It has not been pretty. And even though she was wrong to have had the affair in the first place and is now getting burnt for it, the other party needs to step up and try to make things right, if only for his family. Still, you can always count on t’internet in general and social networking sites in particular to blow a raspberry at such triflings as the law. Twitter led the way when someone posted names of the celebrities who had apparently taken out these injunctions. Some were wrongly accused, but it upset this footballer enough for him to take legal action against Twitter and its users a few days later. Good luck with that one, fella. Even someone like me, who always misses the boat on these things, now knows who this person is through two independent sources that came to me at different times this week. The hole this person is digging for himself is getting mighty deep. When his pursuit of Twitter became news, the Twitterverse went nuts and responded by repeatedly naming him with their tweets. Then, just when you thought it couldn’t get any more ridiculous, news came today of the Scottish Sunday Herald publishing a picture, but not naming him. They can do this because the media rules in England don’t apply in Scotland and the paper is only available in that part of the UK. Well, I say it’s only available in Scotland, but it may be possible that there are some outlets selling that paper here.
The gloves are now off and this will not stop until he is fully outed. If it doesn’t happen by the time I post this, I’m pretty sure it will happen before the end of the week. The actor and TV presenter with their super-injunctions will probably be next – they’d better brace themselves.
Addendum: When I wrote this on Sunday, I felt confident he’d be properly outed this week, but I didn’t think it would happen so soon – on Monday! And by an MP! So Parliamentary privilege once again strikes a blow to the silly-injunction. I think an introduction is now in order. Everybody – say hello to Ryan Giggs.