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Drunk Devon Man Attempts To Have Sex With An Ambulance

February 20, 2013

You read the title correctly, dear reader.

A young man from Barnstaple, Devon, appeared in court after trying to have sex with an ambulance. Fuelled by drink and drugs (cannabis and amphetamine, if you’re interested), he started his seduction by setting fire to a packet of peanuts in a phone box. He then proceeded to spread himself across the front of this particularly big old unit. According to the police, it ‘looked as though he was attempting to make love to the front of the ambulance’.

London ambulance

We’re not just here for emergencies…

Ambulances are used to picking up people. In this instance, the role was reversed and it didn’t end well. The would-be Romeo was eventually arrested for being drunk and disorderly after shouting insults at a Scottish police officer.

Once in court, in the cold light of day, when the beer goggles had cleared and the cannabis induced aphrodisiac had worn off, he admitted to taking drugs and alcohol that night, but had now seen the error of his ways. He was found guilty of being drunk and disorderly and in possession of drugs. He was given a £60 fine with a six-month community order.

It is not known if the ambulance intended to sue for damages.

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9 comments

  1. Wow. Look at the headlights on that one.


    • Yeah. London Ambulances are little vixens…


  2. Such a lack of manners. You have to make siren noises as an appetizer before embracing.


    • Well… he was under the influence, to be fair. When you’re as high as a kite, manners don’t come into it. There’s one thing you can be sure of: emergency vehicles up and down the land won’t go anywhere near him. He’s a bad bet.


  3. You have to wonder if it would all have had a different outcome if he’d been trying to make love to the back of the ambulance, instead.


    • As most people enter from the back, it would’ve made more sense.


      • It puts ambulances in a new light, doesn’t it. Maybe it’s not the man who was guilty, but the ambulance…


        • That’s right. Blame the victim…


          • What if it was a moped?



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