Can You Smell The ‘Erb? Stupid London Drug Runner Walks Past Police Smelling Of Cannabis

March 7, 2013

Welcome to my first stupid criminal post of 2013. It’s a while since I’ve written about inept felons. There were plenty of candidates vying for my attention, including the robbers in Australia who tunnelled their way to a jewellery store, only to surface in a KFC, and the prisoner in Sri Lanka with a mobile phone hidden in his rectum, caught out by the ring tone. But this, ladies and gentlemen, is the best one so far, and it happened in my borough. I will admit I shed a tear with both pride and laughter as I read this story. It takes a special brand of stupidity to do the following.

spliff joint

A young man came up the escalator in Bethnal Green Station with a handy stash of cannabis, ketamine hydrochloride and ecstasy. As he passed two officers at the ticket hall, a waft of the ‘erb caught their attention and they asked him to step into a side room to be searched. He didn’t need to be told twice – he made a run for it, out of the station and into the museum gardens nearby where he dumped his goods. He walked back towards them and was promptly arrested. A police dog handler was called in, the plucky dog called Buster found the incriminating evidence and a subsequent trip to the drug runner’s Hackney home revealed more drugs, plus weighing scales and a ledger. He now has two and a half years in a Young Offender’s Institute to think about where he went wrong.

Buster has since retired after six years on the job. I wonder if he still has a septum.



  1. If they were smart, we’d have a hard job.

    • Fair point, Oma. It must be satisfying to know the criminals’ best laid plans often go to pot (if you pardon the pun), so you can step in and put on the linked bracelets. You must be counting the days to your retirement. I bet you’ll miss moments like these, though.

  2. I LOVE it when criminal idiots dish out the justice to themselves LOL (there’s nothing better then stepping on the banana skin with both feet and it proves karma has a sense of humour sometimes).

    Speaking of the ‘erb… my twin sister once had a relationship with a guy who was shady on waaay too many levels.
    One day my elderly grandparents visited where they were living and avid gardeners did the rounds of the garden. They stopped at one set of plants but got hastily diverted by sis and partner from what they were told was “a new strain of tomato plants!!”, it was pot of course and they never figured out of the grandparents *really* twigged or not!

    • They definitely twigged. Grandparents know everything.

  3. Wow I’m really running behind that I missed this. I love your dumb criminal posts and nothing’s more fun than a stupid stoner.

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