Goodbye 2011: Hello 2012!

We’re almost done and dusted for another year. 2011 is nearly over. Fallen dictators; uprisings and protests; financial global meltdown; natural disasters; exposure of a rancid media and the impending divorce of Russell Brand and Katy Perry. All this and more has made for an interesting year on this planet called Earth, locally and globally.

But enough about the exterior world: what about the interior? How about you? How has your year been? How is it ending? Whether it’s been a good year or not, we have the clean slate, also known as the start of a new year. It’s the time when, just for a moment, anything is possible. And for some of us, we’ll stretch that moment to the max, like the elastic band on a catapult, which holds our hopes and dreams. Then we’ll let go, so those dreams rocket to the end of the year and maybe beyond.

Whatever you do, make 2012 a great one. Happy New Year! Make a wish…

A Very Big Merry Christmas From Me To You

Have a lovely Christmas, dear reader. May you get plenty of goodies in your stocking…

A Canary Wharf Kind Of Christmas

Christmas is coming and like the rest of commercial London, Canary Wharf, my diamond in the rough that is Tower Hamlets, is working hard to look festive, and hopefully lighten your wallet. Here’s how.

They have Trees festooned with twinkly lights.

They have the outdoor winter ice rink, now in its 7th year, delighting city workers and civilians alike.

Confronted with these seasonal cues, your internal soundtrack will have kicked in. Can you hear the gentle rhythmic jingle of the sleigh bells and the stirring violins tugging at the heartstrings? You’re feeling pretty good now, aren’t you? The shopping mall is looking particularly festive, with its beautiful tall trees decorated with baubles and ribbons: a vision of red and gold. They are truly things of beauty.

But if you look closer, dear reader, this is what you’ll find:

That little burgundy tag is the needle abruptly ripping through your soundtrack of bonhomie, bringing it to a shuddering halt. Talk about shining a Maglite onto magic and ruining it. That image says everything about surveillance Britain in general and the culture of Canary Wharf in particular. Enjoy yourself, but not too much, ‘cos we’re watching you.

Merry Christmas!

Tesco Christmas Gourmet Crisps: The Taste Test

Last month I wrote about Tesco releasing gourmet crisps in the form of a full Christmas dinner, including spiced gammon, Turkey with stuffing and… err… mince pies. Some of you wanted me to try them and report the results. Your wish is my command, dear reader. I gave them a go, along with a panel of judges: the results can be seen later in this post.

Sourcing these gourmet crisps for the taste test was proving to be an absolute pig. They were only stocked in the larger Tesco stores and they didn’t have all the flavours. I managed to get hold of the Norfolk turkey and the mince pie crisps, but saw the Wensleydale and cranberry flavour only once (which I didn’t buy because of my dislike of cheese) and never saw the spiced gammon. To replace the missing starter, I went for Pringles prawn cocktail. If they had melon with a glacé cherry flavoured crisp, I would’ve gone for that instead.

X Factor? My Arse! Or How To Do It Properly! A New Series From Pie And Biscuits

The (British) X Factor 2011 final is airing this weekend.

Regular readers know how much I dislike the X Factor. It’s aural fast food for the reality TV generation. Our youth are in serious danger of becoming obese from consuming ropey covers of some decent songs, sung badly and stripped of the production values that made them good in the first place. Add to this the sob stories and other forms of manipulation that are now obligatory for these shows and I’m left shaking my head in despair. Is it because I’m Officially Old™? Probably. But I know the tunes I was listening to from tot to teen and beyond had complexity, with roots in the genres of Jazz, Blues and Classical, to name a few. For the duration of a song, my brain would be deliciously challenged and my heart would soar. What could be better in life than that?

My brother sends me YouTube clips from time to time to prove the point. He titles them “X Factor? My Arse!” or “How To Do It Properly!” I liked the title so much that – with his permission – I’m going to use it for this occasional series. I must make clear that these posts will not be coming from the point of view of a muso, or a music journalist giving you artist/group in-depth background, or the serial number of the last originally released Beatles track ever. If that’s what you’re looking for, you won’t find it here. What you will get on each post is a short breakdown of the song, as I understand it, memories the tune evokes, if applicable and why I like it. And although I am Officially Old™, the songs I like and post in this series will not always be from the dim and distant past.

So let’s kick off with the first musical gem in this series: Michael Jackson and Never Can Say Goodbye – in acapella.

I hadn’t heard this song in acapella before. I was struck dumb by the purity and maturity of the voice, the emotion and the effortlessness in which he sings. It drills right down to the marrow. He was twelve years old when he recorded this. Twelve years old, ladies and gentlemen. We didn’t need to know about his sob story to make us like his music more (that all came out much later). We just felt the talent. There’s nothing more to add here, other than to say he showed us How To Do It Properly.

X Factor? My Arse!